Saturday, April 10, 2010

I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear. Benjamin Martin (The Patriot)

As parents, we try to do things that we think are best at the time for our children.  We do not have fore-knowledge as God does.  So we muddle thru the best we can.  What we do have though is experience.  We have the "been there, done that, seen that happen" experience that we can predict the outcome of so many of the behaviours that we see.  Unfortunately that is so very, very often either ignored or dimissed our children. We are seen as "backward" and we just "don't get it".  Someone to be humored.  After all things are different now.  There is nothing new under the sun.  What is, has already been, and what will be is the same as the past.  Maybe a fancier package but the same ........  after all look at Sodom and Gomorah.  They were destroyed for the very same thing that we see so rampant today.  Homosexuality. 
Look at what the Israealites were so often chastised for........going in with the world.  
The outside world is so inticing.  Reminds me of the carnivals that we went to as kids.  So exciting and glittery. The problem lies behind the glitter and shine.
So often our children only see the exitement and glitter.  They don't see what we have already seen.  The dirt and the filth.  The heartache and sorrow that comes with following the shine and glitter of the world. 
Feelings and emotions are so easy to succumb to.  If it doesn't feel good, then it must not be a good thing.
Oh how I long to give my children just a glimpse of where they seem to be headed in their lives.  Where they seem to be leading their children. All in the name of letting them "experience" life.  All in the relm of "finding themselves".
I wish that I could just share even just a tiny bit of the pain and anguish that they will see.  That I have seen and still see.
But that is not to be.  They will go on and dance with the world.  Play with the fire.  Chase after the glitter and feeling good.  But someday, they will see. Some day the fire will burn.  Someday they will look at the scars. Someday they will grieve.  And then it will be too late.  The damage will have been done.  I only pray that they will be able to forgive me for not being able to protect them from it all.
I have been there.. I have danced with the world.  I have played with the fire and chased the glitter and excitement.  I have been burned.  I have the scars.  I have the heartache and sorrow that comes. 
I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is truly more than I can bear in my own strength.
All I can do at this point is to pray and ask for grace to continue. 

1 comment: